Elementary Psychology for Dimensional Dopplegangers
by oneofthemuses
Summary: Evil Jeff and Evil Annie cross over to the Prime Timeline and then shit goes down. So does Evil Annie, actually. I used a combination of the following prompts for this fic: Jeff/Annie, Abed/Britta (very light), "I Am Absolutely Cuckoo" by Magnetic Fields, the evil timeline, and a Ficcy Friday prompt by rashaka over at M/M.


**Warning**: There are some really rude, offensive things said by Evil Jeff. Because Evil Jeff is an asshole.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Community_ whatsoever, which I think is pretty obvious, since I can barely write the characters. I don't own or profit from any recognizable characters, plots, or ideas, etc.

**A/N:** A GIANT UNBELIEVABLY HUGE AND GRATEFUL THANK YOU TO MY FIRST-EVER BETA READER, **blithers**, who deserves all the pie and kittens and Community fanservice in the world for going over this a million times for me. She, and I say this entirely sincerely, made this fic better in SO MANY different ways. Any mistakes that are found are all mine!

* * *

He hangs his head in despair. He deserves whatever is coming to him. He really does. Being caught by these idiots, literally with his pants down, means that he is actually _more_ inept than they are. _They_ are _more_ ept than he is! His head is tugged back, his hair magically holding its style even as it's crushed in the grasp of a familiar hand, and he finds himself staring up at Annie, but not his Annie. Gross Annie. Except Gross Annie has the same awesome rack that his Annie does and she wears that bubblegum pink lipgloss that makes her lips look especially alluring which means she's not gross at all.

"Can you pull a little harder? I'm into it but if you're not going to really commit, I'd rather my first time not be with you." He smirks at her offended gasp and she lets go almost immediately but if he's right, and Jeff knows he is, there's a bit of a caress going on as her fingers release their grip. "I haven't let my Annie pull my hair yet and it's been a real sore point so maybe we could keep this between us, okay?" He adds the unnecessary explanation to shock her but, as he smirks lazily, he acknowledges there's maybe a tiny part of him that hopes she's titillated.

He flicks his gaze at each of the study group members gathered around him, ignoring Not-Really-Gross Annie's faux-outraged glare. Gross Abed and Gross Troy stand in the corner whispering and he makes a mental note to keep an eye on them – those two are the most dangerous ones here. Gross Britta has her arms crossed against her chest and her face turned to her most sour setting as she taps her foot. His smirk widens into something of a rictus as he contemplates all the ways in which he'll have fun with her.

He can't quite crane his neck to see Gross Shirley and Gross Pierce but he's fairly certain they're the least of his worries if Gross Shirley has to babysit Gross Pierce. After all, he can pretty much count on Gross Pierce to neutralize whatever threat Gross Shirley might have otherwise presented on her own. If she's comes at him alone, well, he has a contingency plan in mind just in case.

Gross Abed lets out a low whistle, which is clearly some kind of signal judging by how all attention is suddenly on him. Jeff watches as Gross Abed makes eye contact with Gross Britta. After a sharp nod, they all file out of a side door, just beyond the curtains hanging loosely at the end of the stage, leaving him with their very own wannabe-psychotherapist in the large auditorium. He keeps his grin in place. The keyword in that sentence in _psycho_. Nearly a year of quickies and hookups does not a stranger make. Gross Britta thinks she can handle Evil Jeff? She's so confident that she's taking first crack? Bring it on, Kings of Leon.

* * *

"Why are you here?" Her first question is a soft throw.

"Don't get excited, Britta. I didn't come for you." He savours his satisfaction as he sees the hit land for a scant second. "And oh, hey, where the fuck is Annie? We were kind of in the middle of something when you losers interrupted us. That was a real dick move, by the way. And I'm not talking about what she was doing with her tongue." He throws in a smarmy wink for good measure.

He's going to end this one quick, a mercy killing, because, he's realized, he does not have time for this bullshit. The longer he sits here tied up, the longer his Annie has to run amok. And there's a high likelihood someone will end up fucked beyond repair. He's entirely opposed to that idea unless it's him that's being fucked, so.

"I'm not fazed by you. I'm a professional. Tell me what I want to know." He watches her shake off his remark and he respects her slightly more than 'not at all' which was roughly where he was sitting ten minutes ago. Even still, he can't help but scoff at her words and the formidable face she's presenting.

"A professional what? Doormat? Why don't _you_ tell _me_ what I want to know, Britta? For instance, who's the next guy that gets to shit all over that oh so welcoming mat of yours now that Troy is done with you, hmm? Oh wait, it's more of a landing strip than a rug, isn't it? My bad, Ms. Perry. You're such a _super_ feminist that I forgot you waxed."

She stares at him hard in response and he can't quite tell if she's struggling to keep it together or if she's holding back a scathing retort but he knows his own skill and he's inclined to believe it's the former. He decides in his favour when she turns on a heel and stalks to the door. He almost wishes he could restrain himself from a parting shot, but, he's Evil Jeff so why bother?

"Can you send Troy in next? That kid's a genius, naming Annie's Boobs after Annie's boobs! Because he was so right – they're awesome – how'd he know?Really prescient, I owe him a thank you!" His words are cut off by the echoing slam of the door.

* * *

He's not surprised when he sees Pierce next.

"Are they just sending in all the useless people first? Sacrificing the pawns while the rooks and knights plan out their strategy?" Jeff is suitably impressed to see that Pierce barely reacts.

"I'm zen these days, Jeff, but nice try. Look, we just want to know why you and the broad are here. You tell us that and nobody has to get hurt." Pierce cracks his knuckles and Jeff actually feels a frisson of unease. He has absolutely no doubt that Pierce would enjoy the opportunity to hit him repeatedly. To be fair, the feeling is mutual, but his own ability to hit back is currently hampered by his wrists being tied. Normally when a situation like this goes down, it's consensual and Annie promises to avoid his face. He's fairly certain he won't get that kind of consideration around these parts.

"Look, Piercenald, I don't know what you want me to say. We just happened upon the place. And when Annie saw you were alive, she wanted to come. Speaking of which, have you heard any wildly inappropriate screaming? Because we weren't finished when you guys found us and as far as I know, she's only faithful if I fulfill my 'obligations', you know what I'm saying?" It's the first time that Pierce does not, in fact, know what he's flat-out saying.

"I don't know what you're yapping about and I don't care. Why are you really here, Jeff?" His arms are crossed against his chest and Jeff studies him, pretending to take him seriously, for a minute. He nods a little, an expression of grudging respect that is entirely fake emerging before he heaves a sigh.

"We were looking at the different timelines and Annie saw you were alive in this one. She wanted to come." Granted, he means that literally, since they'd been in the middle of having sex, but he decides to leave that bit out. "I had other interests but she was adamant and she… Convinced me." It had taken a series of well-timed blowjobs to agree that Annie would be the one to kill Pierce in this timeline, in fact, but again, Jeff feels that's a detail best left unshared. Pierce scrutinizes him for an unbearably long time, finally nodding decisively as he shoves his hands in his pockets and makes his way to the door.

"That sounds about right!" It's thrown over his shoulder as he exits and Jeff smirks, shaking his head. Pierce is too easy. It would be immeasurably sweet to watch his 'favourite' who he believed missed him so betray him later. Relaxing in the chair as much as he can, he sits back to wait.

* * *

He gets Shirley next and he feels sorry for them, for just a second. Their strategy is flawed, moving from weakest to strongest, but it's not like they have much of a choice. They're dealing with someone who has no scruples, who doesn't care about them. All of them are merely ineffectual obstacles in his path. His attention turns back to Shirley as he hears the low 'hmm' she makes as she circles him, studying him.

"Like what you see, Big Cheddar?" The expression on her face isn't offended and he smiles, gearing up for a fight against a worthy opponent. "You know, you once accused me of being intimidated by your sexuality. And that's true of this timeline's Jeff. He's got the technical skills down pat – he knows how to kiss and he knows where to touch within a reasonable margin of error but he's not exactly creative."

Shirley's response is limited to a skeptical eyebrow raise but it means her interest is piqued. Jeff can work with that.

"Your Jeff couldn't handle you, Shirley. But I can. It's practically a match made in heaven. You're a good, Christian woman and I'm temptation incarnate." He keeps his smile just a little wicked and his tone charming because that's how Shirley likes him best. "Eve might have been a naughty girl but she still ended up in the Bible, isn't that right? C'mon, Shirley, don't you want to see what all the fuss is about?" She's staring at him in disbelief and Jeff figures his next words will either seduce her or offend her so completely that he'll end up achieving his goal one way or the other. "It's not like you have to worry, Shirley, Jesus forgave Mary Magdalene for being a whore too."

She moves fast enough that he doesn't see the slap coming. Not physically, anyway.

He shifts his legs a bit because his reaction is almost Pavlovian but it's not his fault that Annie and being evil have been so good at conditioning him to like pain. He shakes his head a bit and licks at the blood that's starting to dribble from his split lip as he meets Shirley's eyes. She's practically shaking with anger and he desperately wants to chuckle but she'll probably roundhouse him if he does. Instead, she continues glaring at him and Jeff is congratulating himself on, for all intents and purposes, taking another one down without a single verbal response to play off of when she decides to speak.

"We're going to send you back to the hell you came from." She turns to leave but stops short and turns to address him once more. "You aren't even half the man our Jeff is, and I'm not talking about the arm he has that you don't or the fact that he fills out a suit better. Both of which are true. I'm talking about the fact that he has people who love him." She sniffs disdainfully. "And, unlike you, he doesn't have to worry about our Annie going elsewhere if he isn't around for five minutes." Score one for Shirley.

Jeff lets himself replay what she said and adjusts it to +2 for Shirley because he's not 100% sure she's lying about the suit.

* * *

It's Abed and Troy that enter next and Jeff sighs. Being witty and cruel isn't exactly a chore but this is starting to get repetitive. Slowly upping the level of challenge is doing them no favours. In fact, it gives him time to stew and a stewing Jeff Winger is good for no one. They're the architects of their own doom, really, and they've nobody to blame but themselves. Jeff would pat himself on the back if he wasn't so grouchy that he couldn't take more credit. Being absolved of guilt isn't on his to-do list here in this crummy timeline after all.

Whatever. The sheer brilliance of his silver bullet makes him feel better.

"Evil Jeff." He nods at him as Abed breaks the silence.

"Gross Abed." The wrinkle of confusion marring his otherwise smooth skin makes Jeff smile and he deigns to give them an explanation out of the goodness of his heart. Sort of. "Britta, our Britta, argued that calling you losers 'lame' was offensive. We mostly tuned her out but-" This is as good a segue as he's likely to get so he decides to just slip it in, all casual-like. "-then she agreed to stop fucking our Abed dressed as different Elizabeth Shue characters. Or, she agreed to stop fucking him where we can see it, at least. We all use that couch, you know?"

He's not surprised that Abed displays little reaction. Jeff's revelation didn't faze him, but more than that, Jeff's revelation was nothing _new_ to him. He thinks back to that first year he met Abed; how Abed was the one who knew all those little details about Britta, how Abed pointed out the Elizabeth Shue resemblance in the first place, how the two of them, Britta and Abed, sat beside each other and fell asleep cuddled up. Yeah, he doubts Abed was surprised by this turn of events at all, especially given Britta's penchant for over-estimating her psych skills and her unabated love for broken men.

Troy, though… Troy's reaction is _exactly_ what Jeff was expecting, was hoping to see. Troy hides it away behind a hate-filled wall of carefully constructed blankness but the kid isn't stupid. He's torn up at the idea of his best friend and his ex-girlfriend screwing each other. It's unfathomable to him, Jeff's sure, how they could betray him! But in the back of his mind, Troy's remembering all those same things Jeff did and there's a little voice whispering that Britta has always been fascinated by Abed and that the feeling has always been more than a little mutual. Abed's Halloween story included kissing Britta after all, with nary a mention of Troy.

Jeff slumps in his chair, trying to ignore how his wrists chafe and the way his arms burn because of how they've been restrained at an awkward angle for an hour now. He can manage some patience, his work here is almost done anyway.

"Why are you here, Evil Jeff?" It's Abed again and Jeff struggles to contain his exasperation, his tolerance for this idiotic situation rapidly wearing thin.

"I expect this kind of obtuseness from the Boy Wonder of A/C repair over there but, you, Abed, you're supposed to be smart." He shakes his head, resigned. "Keeping me here is useless. You know by now that I'm not going to talk but really, that should be the least of your concerns. While you halfwit wannabe crime-fighters try your shitty futile best to interrogate me, my Annie is _on her own._" He smiles his most unpleasant smile. "And _that's_ your real mistake. Because I'm smart and I'm good looking and I'm charming but she's all those things _and_ she's a little insane."

Troy's deep swallow and Abed's wide eyes are vindication enough. They start backing out of the room, completely in synch, and Jeff knows it's a win for him. It occurs to him that it's maybe time for one of _his_ questions to get answered.

"Hey, so, has anyone ended up in the infirmary with whip marks? Fucked to death? I'm asking for a friend." His voice bounces off the walls, no answers forthcoming, as the door closed. "Not because I'm jealous or anything." He mutters the words quietly to himself, slouching into his seat, and broods.

* * *

If he has to guess, he'd put it somewhere around a half-hour since he's last had a visit from one of his amateur jailers. They hadn't waited more than ten minutes between rounds previously and despite knowing better, Jeff is a little disconcerted by the new tactic. Being left to wait with nothing better to do than think had never weighed heavily in his favour.

For once, he's surprised at who comes through the door.

He watches as Not-His-Annie creeps into the room, silent and cautious, and wonders at her presence. Yes, she's the only person, logically, that's left to confront him but it's a gamble. He tries his damnedest to remember if she'd grown up enough to go toe-to-toe with him before their timelines diverged but can't quite get his memories of her in focus. Unfortunately, he realizes, he's as much of a wildcard in this situation as she is. He closes his eyes for a brief moment, shoring up his snarkiness, then lets loose with his most charming and seductive grin. It's not much of a stretch since he uses it almost exclusively on Annie anyway. Occasionally, he tests the waters with Shirley just because.

"They don't know I'm here." Her opening salvo is so unexpected that he's speechless. It only lasts for a second.

"And you thought it was a good idea to tell me that? Oh, little girl, let me assure you: it was not." He shakes his head at her, a mocking grin in place, and tries to get a handle on the gleeful laughter welling up.

"I told you that because it will help explain what's about to happen next." He watches her, amusement clear as day on his face, and shrugs as much as he's able.

"And that is?"

"I'm going to let you go." This time, his mouth actually drops open, expression agog. He coughs to cover his reaction but he's well aware that it doesn't work. It makes him feel better anyway.

"Why?" He's suspicious but he can't help it. Her actions don't make sense and he knows Annie is manipulative enough to try fooling him.

"I remember what it was like to be… Not all there. And your Annie, she's not an insensible idiot, she's not an out of control addict. She's smart and focused and she's insane in a psychotic way." She pauses and bites her lip as she winces. "I'm more scared of her than I am of you." He wants to be offended but the woman's got a point – Annie's clearly the smart one in this ragtag bunch of rejects.

"So you're going to let me go." She nods. "And what? You think I'm going to stop her? We came here to wreak havoc!" She rolls her eyes at his dramatic tone and walks closer, within touching distance now.

"The truth is, we can't get a hold of our Jeff and we don't know why – he always has his phone on him. You keep yelling about her, your Annie, potentially screwing everyone in sight but why would she bother doing that when she can have the next best thing? Your double." He swallows roughly, that thought having never occurred to him. She sees his reaction and winces again. "Sorry." Her eyes belie the apology and he pouts because she's not really sorry at all.

"What is it you want me to do?"

"Annie came here to kill Pierce, didn't she?" He raises an eyebrow, impressed despite himself. "We could hear every conversation. The walls look thick but they're not." She moves through her explanation quickly. "I'm going to let you go and I want you to find her and leave. I'll make sure nobody hurts her if you make sure she doesn't hurt anybody either." She looks directly at him and he considers her offer silently, turning it over in his mind.

The longer they stay here, the more he has to worry. To be honest, he's actually content living in the darkest timeline. Abed isn't the same evil guy he was back when Pierce first died and Britta is the shittiest evil person he's ever encountered. The rest of them, Troy and Shirley and himself, don't much care about being evil. He can probably fill his evil quota just by working at Cash's new firm.

It's only Annie that he really has to convince.

He looks up at this timeline's Annie and his decision is made in the instant that their eyes connect. He holds her gaze as he gives her a short nod and cracks his neck.

"Let's do this."

* * *

He stands and stretches, shaking out his wrists and readjusting his bionic arm. Once he's done, certain that he's still a prime physical specimen, he turns to his diminutive rescuer.

"What do we do now?" He's not sure if he actually expects her to have a plan but he kind of does because it's still _Annie_ even if it's not _his_ Annie. Plus, he really doesn't know what to do now – he hasn't had the time to formulate his own strategy. It seems like he's in luck because she just smiles at his question.

"I'll get you out of here but you have to find her on your own. We don't actually know where she is… She disappeared while we were, you know, staring at you." She blushes as she says it so he knows she's referring to him being half-naked when they found him but he's pretty sure she's not blushing out of embarrassment.

"I don't suppose you'd be interested in staring at me some more…?" He's not really serious because, much to his chagrin, he loves his Annie and while this timeline's Annie has her charms, she's not who he wants though she'd probably do in a pinch. She slaps at his chest without thinking and rolls her eyes before she catches herself, blinking up at him wide-eyed. He smirks in response and shakes his head because this timeline's Jeff? A complete nimrod. Annie shakes herself out of her stupor and moves out of his personal bubble as casually as possible meaning that it's not casual at all. His smirk grows wider but he doesn't comment because he's starting to remember why he liked her well before his timeline went to hell.

Annie Edison, every version of her, appeals to him on _so many levels._

"Just… Let's go, Jeff!" He shrugs at her exasperated plea, smirk cemented in place.

"After you, milady."

* * *

Prime Annie ditches him once she gets him past the roving sentries that are the dispersed study group. They're pretty well concentrated in the east wing, down by the cafeteria and the auditorium, where they'd been holding him. She agrees to keep them out of the west wing, where the library is, and Jeff's first and likely only stop. Apparently, they figure nobody would be crazy enough to go _there_. Jeff can only shake his head in delighted superiority. They keep forgetting that his Annie _is_ crazy. When he arrives, he's not surprised to find their study room entirely abandoned.

Except for his Annie and Gross Jeff.

Or well, almost. They're actually in Study Room E, but it's right beside Study Room F so Jeff decides it counts toward his final tally of wins.

"Annie." She whips around at the sound of his voice and the elation that spreads across her face warms the cockles of his heart. "There you are, babe. I've been looking for you." He's not lying. He headed here first, certain it would be her preferred destination, and he just happens to have been right.

"Jeff!" She runs at him and in seconds, her legs are wrapped around his waist, hands framing his face as she kisses him deep and hard. Her legs loosen, eventually, and she slides down the length of his body, drawing a deep moan out of him. "I missed you."

"You didn't appreciate my substitute?" He tries to keep his words light because he's evil and egocentric and _evil_ but he knows she can read his insecurity because her entire face 'awws' as if he's a baby rabbit or something.

"Of course not. He isn't you." She stops to rethink her statement. "Okay, he is you, but he's not _you._ Besides," she moves forward, toying with his collar, "it's only fair to tell you I'm absolutely cuckoo. For you." He leans down, planting a kiss against her unresisting lips, a sly smile breaking across his face.

"Hey, now, don't fall in love with me yet." He exhales the next line, 'we only recently met' inaudibly and watches her, ready for the part that makes her swoon. "True, I'm in love with you but you might decide I'm a nut." She 'awws' again, nuzzling his face, and he shrugs modestly.

"You do know he just quoted a song, right?" His doppelganger rudely interrupts and Jeff rolls his eyes at his tattling.

"Is that supposed to upset me?" Annie sounds genuinely curious. Gross Jeff shrugs and bobs his head from side to side as if to say 'yeah, maybe?' "It doesn't. Because," and here she rolls her eyes at him like he's worthy of the deepest disdain, usually reserved solely for those who dare challenge her academically. "Duh doy, I already knew that. It's kind of our thing." She turns her back on Gross Jeff and her expression changes, her pout indicating that they need to find a new song. It doesn't much fit them anymore anyway.

"So you're way better at this whole thing, huh?" Jeff pulls out the flattery but she doesn't answer, just raises an eyebrow at him, still pouting. "You escaped, you took a hostage… I got captured and uh," he pulls at his collar uncomfortably, "I had to be rescued."

"By who?" He swallows roughly at her dulcet tones.

"Gross Annie?" The sigh she lets loose is an unexpected response but he's hopeful he can work with it. "She just wants her Jeff back." He casts a disdainful look at the captive. "What've… What've you been doing with him?"

"Mostly talking. Do you know he still hasn't made a proper move on Annie in this timeline? Why is _our_ timeline considered the worst, again?" She lets out a half-snort, half-disbelieving laugh and he can't help but kiss her again because his Annie is just the best.

"It isn't, it really isn't." He takes a deep breath, fortifying himself for what he's about to say next. "I was thinking… Britta and Abed are both more interested in each other than they are being evil. Troy doesn't care about being evil, not really, you know that." She nods distractedly, unsure where he's going with his speech. "Shirley, she's half in the bag, half in recovery, but not much use either way." She focuses her attention on him in full because mentions of Shirley, who no longer makes a monthly dinner date with him, are rare. "What if… What if we just went back?"

"You want to leave? Without… Without killing any of them?" He can't tell if she's dismayed or just surprised so he stays quiet and holds his breath. "Not even Pierce?" A laugh is startled out of him.

"Not even Pierce." She contemplates his words for a long stretch and he just watches her, arms circled loosely around her waist.

"Okay." He rears back in surprise, not expecting it to be so easy. "Look at them!" She flings her arm back toward her tied up captive without looking, gesturing wildly. "If Gross Annie had to set you free, it means that you took care of the rest of them using just your words." She rolls her eyes again. "Useless. And this one! He's too chicken to make a move on Annie." She whips around to stare at Gross Jeff who's been silent far too long. She disentangles herself from her Jeff and stalks toward Gross Jeff, a predatory smile on her face. "Hmm."

"What are you going to do?" It's Gross Jeff that speaks and the fear on his face is real even though his voice is steady.

"You're afraid of me. Smart boy." She turns back to her Jeff and smiles. "We can leave, and I promise, we won't even touch a hair on anyone's head but I have one condition." Of course it isn't that easy but he already knows he's likely going to acquiesce so he doesn't bother arguing.

"What's that, milady?"

Her smile grows wider.

"I want to show him," she jerks a thumb over her shoulder, "what he's been missing." She turns to look at Gross Jeff again, leaning back against him as she does so. "To think, if you'd just been willing to act like a grown up and ask her out, this might've been a whole lot more fun for you." Moments later, she's kissing him fiercely and he doesn't really care about anything else, least of all Gross Jeff, because it's been less than 12 hours but he's already been without her too long.

* * *

Jeff really, sincerely never thought he'd be watching himself get a blowjob from Annie but lo and behold, that's exactly what's happening right now. She's on her knees and his evil twin is seated on a couch in this bizarro study room, pants undone and rapidly hardening cock already out.

"I'm sorry I left you hanging earlier." She follows her apology up with a quick swipe of her tongue across the head of Evil Jeff's cock and he can feel his own dick stirring despite his best efforts to ignore it.

"Just fucking blow me already, please." Evil Jeff is impatient, hand winding into her hair, and pushing her head gently down. She goes without resistance, her smile affectionate at his whiny demands. It should look crass in some way, her candy-pink lips closing over his dick and her Disney eyes gazing up, gauging his reactions, but it's mostly just working to get Jeff uncomfortably hot.

She bobs her head back and forth, one hand massaging his balls, and the other working its way up and down his length, wherever her mouth doesn't reach. She moves her mouth off of Evil Jeff and tongues a vein, her lips working down to his balls. She kisses them gently and Jeff is horrified because he might just come in his pants.

"Annie, babe, please." The ground out words refocus her attention and she moves back up to his cock, sinking down as far as she can go. Evil Jeff's hand threads through her hair again, guiding her rhythm and Jeff can see that his hips are moving, fucking her mouth. Involuntarily, his own hips buck, and he closes his eyes, trying to ignore the soft panting and the sharp intakes of breath that are so familiar because he's made them before himself. He's not sure how long passes but the surround sound-only experience isn't helping him calm down.

A loud hiss makes him open his eyes and his luck fucking sucks because he's just in time to see Evil Jeff tense, hips bucking, as Annie swallows over and over again. She stays on her knees, mouth and hands slowly, gently, working Evil Jeff down. When she finally straightens, wiping her mouth delicately, she kisses Evil Jeff and then saunters over to him.

"I can see that you finally appreciate what you've been denying yourself all this time." As she speaks, her eyes are firmly on his tented pants. Her smile is almost as riveting as his Annie's. "Now, where is your phone?" She spies the hard outline of his phone and works it out of his pocket, quickly unlocking it, fingers typing away.

"What… Who did you text?"

"Hmm? Oh, your Annie. I told her I was leaving her a present in one of the study rooms." She glances over at her shoulder where Evil Jeff is still splayed, blissed out. "Come on, love, we have to get going." He raises his head to look at her and nods, rising lethargically, and tucking himself back in. He strolls over to them and waits, looking relaxed and unstressed, by Annie's side. "We have to go before your Annie gets here but I just want you to know," she leans down and her whisper undoes what little progress he's made in deflating his hard-on, "I don't have a gag reflex."

She blows him a kiss as they, arm-in-arm, leave him there hard as a rock, Annie enroute to his rescue.


End file.
